One cord to bind them all
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 9Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work. 10If one of them falls, his companion can lift him up. Pity the person who falls and has no one else to lift him up. 11What’s more, if two lie down, they can keep warm, but how can one person keep warm alone? 12Though an attacker can overpower one person, two people together can stand up against him. A rope with three strands is not quickly snapped.
Caleb and Emma, you will recognize these words:
Three rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for mortal men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne;
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them;
In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.
For those who don’t know, this is from J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings.” “One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them” refers to the inscription on the one ring forged by Sauron, the Dark Lord.
This inscription is revealed when Gandalf examines the ring, which Frodo inherits. The ring represents absolute power, allowing Sauron to control the other beings who possess rings tied to it – essentially “binding” them to his will. The one ring corrupts those who possess it, leading them to be influenced by its malice and will to dominate, as seen through the effects it had on characters like Gollum, Bilbo, and Frodo.
Imagine if it wasn’t a ring to bind them, but a cord. Like a cord that King Solomon mentions in our sermon text and the hand binding ceremony the two of you will do today. Also imagine it wasn’t a dark lord who binds you, but The Lord. One cord that binds them all – a cord of three strands – Caleb, Emma, and God.
Solomon wisely writes, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work. If one of them falls, his companion can lift him up. Pity the person who falls and has no one else to lift him up. What’s more, if two lie down, they can keep warm, but how can one person keep warm alone? Though an attacker can overpower one person, two people together can stand up against him. A rope with three strands is not quickly snapped.”
Strength like that is exactly what you seek as you begin your life as husband and wife. It’s the kind of strength we seek in our families and friendships. It’s a strength God wants to give us so our marriages are strong and our relationships are enduring. Unfortunately, it is a strength that isn’t always utilized because of the sin of selfishness that keeps us separate from God and each other.
It isn’t always easy to give willingly of ourselves for someone else. Our nature tempts us to look after ourselves, to assert our own rights, to seek our own needs. Kind of like a Boromir, who tried to take the ring from Frodo.
What benefits are there in marriage as God blesses two people to act as one? There’s the husband who holds back his wife’s hair as she’s throwing up after another round of chemotherapy. The wife who patiently cares for her husband as he gets irritable and forgetful from his dementia. The husband who puts in long hours at work and the wife who puts in long hours in the home –
working together as one to love, support and raise their family. There’s the couple who wants an acre or more out in the country for homesteading and homeschooling. That’s what Solomon means when he writes, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work. If one of them falls, his companion can lift him up. Pity the person who falls and has no one else to lift him up.”
He continues, “What’s more, if two lie down, they can keep warm, but how can one person keep warm alone?” This is more than being cold because your spouse hogs the blankets at night. God wants you to recognize the importance of sharing for the deepening of your marital relationship. Success in marriage doesn’t depend on finding the right person. It’s based on becoming the right person.
That only happens when Christ moves you put the other person’s needs ahead of your own. That’s what St. Paul said in the Epistle when he said that love is patient, kind, not envious, not boastful or arrogant, not selfish or irritable. Love is not so much about feelings as it is about commitment. Love is commitment in action.
Jesus told us exactly what kind of action is required for true and ultimate love. “Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: that someone lays down his life for his friends” (John 15:12,13).
That’s exactly how Jesus loves us. He laid down his life on Calvary’s cross to take away our sins, including the sins of selfishness and lovelessness. His sacrificial love for us makes us as Christians able to love one another. When we do this, no one is left out in the cold.
When we’re together in marriage with our spouse, there is someone to lift us up when we fall and keep us warm when we’re cold. There is also someone to help us overcome when we’re under attack. Solomon added, “Though an attacker can overpower one person, two people together can stand up against him.”
There’s strength in numbers, be it husband and wife or good friends or family. To make the point, Martin Luther once explained that when a wise father felt that death was near, he summoned his children together and gave them a bundle of sticks to break. None of the children could break the sticks when they were together in the bundle, but when the father pulled the sticks apart, one at a time, the children could easily break them. In this way, Luther concluded, the father taught his children that their future would be secure if they stayed together and worked together (LW 15:69). There will be times when you will feel threatened, but by remaining together you will not be overwhelmed. It’s kind of like you need … a fellowship. Not a fellowship of the ring, but a fellowship of the cord – the two of you and all your Christian family, friends, pastors, and church.
If you look casually, a rope appears to contain only two strands. But it is impossible to create a braid with only two strands. If the two could be put together at all, they would quickly unravel! It takes a third strand to give strength to the other two. The third person necessary for a strong marriage is Jesus Christ. Solomon writes, “A rope with three strands is not quickly snapped.” It’s like God has placed his hands over yours and bound all three of you together. That kind of cord is not going to be snapped.
Before we breathed our infant breath, we were helplessly conceived in sin. That sin makes us selfish, rude, irritable, impatient, and independent. Before we took our infant breath, we were sinners. So, the perfect, sinless Son of God left heaven to be born as an infant taking his first breaths as God and man in one person. Thirty-three years later the Son of God stopped breathing on the cross. He took our sins upon his perfect, sinless body. He gave us his holiness. He laid
down his life for us. He gave himself up for us. He loved us with a divine love so that we can now love each other.
The Bible calls Jesus our Bridegroom and you and I as Christians are his Bride. He sacrificed everything to win us back from the devil so Bride and Bridegroom can be together forever in the heavenly home he prepared for us.
Jesus’ sacrificial, merciful, gracious love allows you, Caleb and Emma. to express a sacrificial, merciful, gracious love to each other. Jesus forgives you. This allows you to forgive each other. In his compassion he put you first, even before his own life. That compassion allows you to be compassionate to each other, putting the other’s needs ahead of your own.
Jesus is the third strand in your marriage. He is the One who knows when you fall, when you’re cold, when you’re attacked. He knows when you sin, when you’re feeling guilty, and when you feel like a failure as a spouse or a parent in your future. He knows when you need his forgiveness, grace, mercy, healing, and compassion. Because he loves you, lifts you, warms you and protects you, now you can do the same for each other.
The most successful marriages I’ve seen involve two people who agree on what they’re doing. There’s really little ambiguity. When you get the basic stuff settled, you can have real brilliance. Real success. That brilliance and success comes from the two of you relying on each other. But much more than that – the two of you are relying on the Lord. He is the third strand in your cord. One cord to bind them all. Amen.